Connectivity

Due to problems with connecting to the internet we are not able to post regularly (or photo's at this stage)
However, posting the journal as prepared by our onboard journalist (Gretchie)

DAY 1: Nelspruit to Casa Lisa campsite

Departure time


15:00 What was meant to be a prompt 10:00 departure from Uplands College ultimately turned into a 15:00 leave from the van Rensburg residence due to a few Isuzu technical difficulties. Shame, Nico was so proud of his bakkie before the journey began, however the planned 09:15 departure didn’t last longer than 2 minutes, nor extend beyond van Wijk street. We probably should have had an ‘Abnormal/e Vrag/Load’ sign stuck to the vehicle for the bulky capacity of food, climbing equipment, clothes and biltong that could have possibly been the reason for the brakes breaking (not braking) and an oil leak. After half our food was packed into Raymond’s trailer and Elmien emptied her suitcase, we were finally light enough to start our trip. Waka waka, Ey ey, it’s time for Africa!

Arrival time

21:15 The cool touchscreen Garmin estimated our arrival time to be 17:31; we arrived at 21:15... But this time it wasn’t the Isuzu’s fault. The drive to the border went as planned - keep in mind it was on South African roads - and we joined the queue to enter Mozambique at 16:16. I think the entire South African population was trying to cram themselves and their families through the border: we saw 7 friends that we knew already from Uplands, and because we have Elmien travelling with us, made new friends with people who were smart and bought Land Rovers for their expedition. For two hours we danced on the road, took photos of the landscape, paid an official-looking man to do all the border stuff for us, stood in queues to do all the border stuff anyway, waited for an ‘Abnormal/e Vrag/Load’ truck to inch forward slowly for half an hour, and ultimately hit the open Mozambican road at 18:27. After that I’m not too sure what happened as I fell asleep, but we eventually arrived at Casa Lisa a lot long after we initially anticipated. We saw our Land Rover friends (Strydoms) again - turns out their campsite was next to ours, and after a hearty supper of hotdogs (our packed lunch) because the lodge kitchen was closed, we set up camp and slept.

Road conditions Compare Mozambican roads to those in South Africa; in Maputo these are still good (if good comprises of decent tarring, lack of potholes and legible road markings), however the locals’ interpretation of road rules resulted in tedious and slow traffic. This wasn’t too much of a hassle for the Strydoms in their Land Rovers who managed to shortcut through mielie fields, but as for our dear Isuzu, whose aircon had now packed up, it was the slow tedious tar pad...

Weather conditions Sunny skies all the way The wind blew a bit at night, and despite stressing that my tent might be blown off the roof, I had a decent night’s sleep.

Campsite conditions

FACILITIES YES NO

Hot water 

Clean ablution 

Restaurant 

We were all impressed with the conditions in the camp. It was clean and the bathrooms had a mirror, so of course the ladies were impressed. Contrary to Izel’s complaints that the water was brown and tasted like copper, it was clean and didn’t trickle out the tap. There wasn’t any hot water in the girls bathroom, but apparently the men had that luxury (gender equality??).

The restaurant was closed so I can’t rate it, but there was one.

Personal You would think that after all the obstructions and obstacles we’ve had to overcome that this trip is headed for disaster... This Isuzu is like a brick – it’s hard and will ultimately do its job at the end of the day, with just a few chips here and there. Hey, at least the aircon works again...



DAY 2: Casa Lisa to Seta campsite

Departure time

08:00 The rooftent really isn’t very big, two people can sleep comfortably, but if your sleeping partner happens to be Izel, the space will never be large enough. She effectively managed to extend her body across the entire mattress, leaving me with half a millimetre of sleeping space, though exhausted from the border and departure delays, I still slept like an African queen. Elmien and Nico made the sacrifice for the Isuzu’s load in leaving their stretchers safe in their garage at home, though their self inflating mattresses for the climb have been put to good use. Ryan and Raymond slept above their trailer in their version of a rooftop tent, however theirs, with slightly more flair, has a vertical change room alongside (yes, the teenage girls were jealous). After a breakfast of mini chocolate soccer balls we watched the Strydoms wave goodbye in their Land Rovers as they left for their excursion, slightly alarmed at the mini toilet paper roll protruding from my face to block a nose bleed – Africa is tougher than you think... Packed and ready at 08:00, we left for Seta campsite, 730km from Casa Lisa.

Arrival Time

19:31 There’s only so much you can do to occupy the time in a car for 11 hours, although the Mozambican scenery consists of beauty enough to satisfy any boredom. This place is an unpolished gem, rich in tropical vegetation, turquoise waters and white sands, the perfect picture for the cover of any travel magazine. We stopped in Xai Xai for pregos and a quick toe-dip in the sea. Bellies full and satisfied that we’d finally touched beach sand, we continued on the road once more, arriving at Seta at 19:31.

Road conditions I’ve decided that roads in Mozambique are like a packet of Liquorice Allsorts: they vary in shape, size and colour. We faced many types of roads on our 11 hour journey through vibrant Africa and managed to juggle speeds with road conditions the further north we trekked. On departure the conditions were quite alright, they were tarred and potholes were few. Between Xai Xai and Inhambane the conditions were slightly different - the liquorice packet was attacked by ants - as potholes dotted the EN1 like craters in the moon. We managed to avoid the massive polka dots by reducing speeds, ultimately playing a prime factor in the time span of the trip. However the conditions improved further north as the sand coloured roads under construction resembled the skin of the people who built them. Can you say Mozambique in Chinese?

Weather conditions Mozambique only has variations of one temperature: hot. It’s either hot or very hot, even in the middle of winter where temperatures are meant to be cool. It rained slightly on the road but even that was hot, nevertheless I could be home wrapped in blankets, so who’s complaining.

Campsite conditions

FACILITIES YES NO

Hot water 

Clean ablution 

Restaurant 

Keen for a hot shower and a chance to finally wash our hair, Izel and I headed to the bathrooms to do a full examination and evaluation. Our inspection began with criticism of the labels above the bathrooms: ‘HomensGents’ and ‘SenhorasWomen’. Why would they make co-gender bathrooms if two separate bathrooms exist? Only the following day did we realise that Homens is actually men and not an incorrect spelling of women... We inspected the water which was not hot, not even slightly warm, in fact the blue tap produced water of the same temperature as the red. We assumed the outdoor showers had one temperature too as only one tap was evident. Toilet paper was absent, creating slight sensations of annoyance every time you visited the loo and realised you forgot to bring the white roll along. Apart from these, the bathrooms were satisfactory and had a big mirror to please the teenagers. We set up camp underneath a massive tree, which appeared to be an ideal location until our roof tent couldn’t fold open and instead of relocating, Nico and Ryan attacked the poor branches to make way for our bedroom. Despite this miscalculation, the situation was ideal for our setup.




DAY 3: Seta campsite

Departure time After yesterday’s 11 hour joyride, a full day of zero car travel was required. I woke suddenly with the violent tremble of my rooftop tent as tannie Elmien opened the bakkie door unaware of the effect it would have on our sleep, she then proceeded to lie flat on the hooter whilst looking for some object of importance at 5:30, then closed the door once again to regenerate the tremors.

Now fully awake, we viewed a spectacular sunrise over a still and silent sea with the silhouette of dhows at dawn break. Inspired with keen ambition to seize the day, Ryan reversed the trailer with a bit too much enthusiasm causing it and their tent to capsize. He was then sent to seek a boat to transport us to the famed Paradise island, home of the neglected Santa Carolina hotel and castaways from Survivor - South Africa. Raymond, Ryan, Izel, Elmien and I braved the seas in a vessel that barely floated. Awaiting the arrival of the skipper, we made ourselves comfortable on the M-babe and pitied the people who would be unfortunate enough to travel on the plank alongside, unaware that it would be our transportation and that we were in fact illegally using the property of someone completely random. Nico (safe on sandy ground) waved us off from the mainland at 09:30.

Arrival time We anchored close to Paradise island drenched and desperate for warmth whilst Ryan sat smiling, pleased with himself for successfully redirecting the splash into the boat, although the view of dolphins playfully darting in and out the water cheered us up once more. Shivering, we put on snorkel gear and climbed into the warm Mozambican waters, snorkelling above a circus of underwater activity rich in vibrant coral and fish life. This startling splendour extended from the waters to the island, accurately named Paradise. The island is home to the desolate shells of what were once impressive residences and the Survivor-famed Santa Carolina Hotel and looked like a picture on a postcard or the false images hotels put on their websites to attract guests. We continued to explore the island, often realising Ryan was MIA and on his own mission. We returned from viewing an airstrip to find him jumping on and off a rocky island, thoroughly entertained. Satisfied with the day’s events, we returned to Inhassoro to find our campsite transformed. Everything was neat, organised, and Elmien was pleasantly surprised to notice the shirt she had been wearing since we left Nelspruit had been washed by Nico and hung to dry. Perhaps she smelt worse than we thought...

Road conditions I would like to use this opportunity to make a dedication of appreciation to the amazing Garmin, Suzie. This young lady has the wisdom of a woman in old age and mathematical/geographical genius. She performs the usual task expected of the Garmin – she shows us where to go - however our Suzie has magical traits beyond the Hogwarts wizard. In amazement I stared open mouthed as Suzie not only illustrated our path in a fabulous magenta, but photographed it, calculated the distance and time travelled, estimated time of arrival and petrol cost per kilometre (from Rands to Mets – yes she is a currency converter too). If we all strived to be like Suzie, the world would be at peace.

Weather conditions Desperate to tan, Izel and I were very pleased with the sunshine, although for some reason, when Ryan thought it would be funny to drench us, the sun hid behind an expanse of clouds and only reappeared when we were dry.

Personal They also have Football Friday in Inhassoro. A taxi full of Bafana Bafana supporters drove past Izel and I as we trekked through the sandy streets in search of a shabeen of sorts to support our South African soccer team. We eventually returned to the lodge television to watch the opening match with the owner who seemed to resent anything associated with FIFA. He flatly banned our vuvuzela, but that didn’t stop our stubborn Izel from blowing the bright yellow noise machine to her heart’s content and then having the owner’s grandson glare at her like he was the older of the two. Our little SA flag clip-on flag attached to the bakkie window is fluttering with elated enthusiasm as Bafana Bafana showed Mexico whose boss.

Food in Mozambique has to have a special mentioning. The awaited arrival of the Smits unfortunately coincided with the awaited arrival of my plate of prawns. If you ever strive to eat the best prawns on the planet, drive the distance to Seta Lodge, you won’t be disappointed. After I successfully polished the shells clean, we welcomed the Smits and acknowledged their presence. Our Kili trip crew is now complete - the eight of us: Nico, Elmien, Raymond, Riegardt, Corinne, Ryan, Izel and I, ready to drive through the Savannah lands and tropical forests without fear (except for the Isuzu), to climb that mountain, and in the end create memories to last a lifetime with joyous laughter and entertainment.

DAY 4: Seta to Milpark Lodge:

Departure time

09:30 No one really wanted to leave the sea, especially not after waking to view a spectacular sunrise over the sea where the sun’s orange-pink rays fingered saintly through the clouds. We had coffee and rusks on the beach before finally deciding to start disassembling the campsite. Packing has become second nature to us now; we have this tent folding thing waxed. Before long we were ready to leave and after Nico changed the car icon on Suzie to now resemble a light blue Ferrari we began our 400km trip further up Mozambique.

Arrival time

15:30 Boys and their toys... This trip isn’t about climbing Kilimanjaro, that’s just an excuse for Nico, Raymond, Riegardt and Ryan to spice up their cars and then talk about engines and stuff as if they’re mechanics. Despite that half these men are close to fifty, they insist on playing with walkie talkies as if they’re four once more. Us sophisticated ladies sit in silence, forced to bear the “Crrrrrrrr, Bumble-bee, come in, come in. Jumbo Jimny over and out.” The fact that each vehicle has a nickname is enough to reduce any female to roll her eyes, although Elmien is so inquisitive, the prospect of also being a part of the walkie talkie fun was too tempting. She unfortunately tried to use it like a cell phone and held the device to her ear. From then on we left the boys to play with their toys to their hearts’ content.

We stopped on the side of the road to buy pineapples from a sweet little boy and his adorable sister. We had to wrestle Izel into the bakkie to prevent her from stealing/adopting the little girl as if she was Angelina Jolie. Instead we gave them each a lollipop, pen and bible of which we had boxes to distribute amongst the children of Africa. Further on the road we stopped for a roadside picnic of tuna broodjies before arriving at Milpark Lodge at Suzie’s accurate estimated time of 15:30.

Road conditions I have always heard about how terrible Mozambican roads are, about how avoiding potholes is eventually as natural as breathing. I keep expecting bad roads, but they never come. These roads are really good, better than some in South Africa, and so good in fact, that Ryan thought the tar would make a comfortable bed when we stopped for our roadside picnic.

Weather conditions It’s always hot here...

Campsite conditions

FACILITIES YES NO

Hot water 

Clean ablution 

Restaurant 

There are no bathroom facilities in the camping area, nor is there actually a camping area, we just set up camp behind some chalets on the first open patch of grass we found. Not keen to use bushes as the bathroom, we hired a chalet of which Nico decided to make full use of and sleep on the bright orange-linen bed whilst the rest of the Kili climbing crew roughed it in the great outdoors with roaming horses and mosquitoes.

We finally had hot water! Except Ryan, shame he always gets the bum end of the deal, his shower was cold after Izel, Corinne and I were done.

Corinne made roast veggies and braai vleis for supper so the restaurant wasn’t necessary, but it looked like a perfectly acceptable eating place.

Personal It’s hilarious, every time an Isuzu passes us Nico cheers the fact that it’s still in motion, yet he neglects to acknowledge the black smoke usually billowing out the exhausts or that they all sit 2mm above the ground due to their heavy loads. Moral of the story, if you plan to drive up Africa, don’t buy an Isuzu, although after Ryan’s reversing accident yesterday and the malfunction of the Jimny hooter, all vehicles have identified faults. I’m starting to find new reasons to admire Kingsley Holgate, the bearded legend of all African travellers, oh wait, he drives Land Rovers, never mind.





DAY 5: Milpark Lodge to Ugezi Tiger Lodge (Cahora Bassa)

Departure time

07:30 As a result of last nights’ keen attempt to stargaze out our rooftent’s mosquito-proof windows, we woke up freezing and damp from dew. I don’t even know what the time was as Elmien’s watch broke, I’m not surprised as the instructions to set the device were directly translated from Chinese and although apparently waterproof, ceased ticking after swimming in the sea. Nevertheless, it was early, and the view that struck me as I poked my head out the tent door was one of a magical sunrise over the northern Mozambican landscape. We ate our usual breakfast of mini chocolate soccer balls and coffee and packed up our campsite, ready to depart at 07:00. This was a miracle for our dear Isuzu and her packing clan, who usually hinder departure, although this time we were slightly delayed by Riegardt, who thought it would be fun to play lego on the Jimny roof with jerry cans and camping gear. Suzie was eventually set for Cahora Bassa, 400km from Milpark, beginning the day’s drive.

Arrival time

15:30 You know you’re thick in the African bush when the white-bearded Captain Morgan legend, Kingsley Holgate passes you in his indestructible Land Rover. Nico was ready to turn the Isuzu around and tail behind Kingsley’s dust, however Jumbo Jimny, whose driver failed to notice the renowned African traveller, had to refuel – the little red Suzuki momentarily stole the role as bum vehicle of the trip. The excitement was eventually replaced by hunger, instigating the hunt for a picnic tree along the dry Mozambican road. Two hours later, when the arid land had not granted us with more than a thorn bush, the sandy ground became an acceptable brunch stop of steak rolls and pineapple sweeter than Koo’s. Of course, a mere 2km further down the road, Mama Africa presented us with a luscious and leafy shade-generous tree. Despite the day’s luck, Suzie lead us directly to our destination, the fourth largest dam in Africa, funded and built by South Africa The boom-gate operator therefore evidently believed us to be as generous after identifying us as South Africans, as after we gave him a pen, he proceeded to ask Riegardt for his cell phone and Raymond for money. Thereafter we drove the short distance to Ugezi Tiger Lodge.

Road conditions The people who evaluate Mozambican roads must have confused bad conditions and potholes with rogue domestic animals. Chickens, cows, goats, sheep and pigs cross the road at random to such an extent that “passop vir die donkie” has replaced the “over and out” concluding statement on the walkie talkie.

Weather conditions 32’ So much for Winter.

Campsite conditions

FACILITIES YES NO

Hot water 

Clean ablution 

Restaurant 

After Nico’s comfortable stay at Milpark Lodge, the luxury of a soft bed replaced the ‘rough and tough’ camping attitude and we were all were booked to stay in dam-side chalets. In comparison to the campsite, this was definitely his best idea yet as hot water was once again absent, as was toilet paper, and ablution cleanliness was minimal. Saved from the task of setting up camp, Elmien tossed the camping attitude too and we ate at the lodge restaurant, famous for its fish, Bream, which arrived whole on the plate, lips pouted and eyes sorrowful, awaiting fate.

Personal Cahora Bassa is beautiful. The 275km stretch of water nestled between valleys of Mozambican mountains attracted us for a sunset booze cruise aboard two M-babe-like vessels. Ryan, Riegardt, Izel and I unfortunately got the skipper who spoke no English; whereas the others had the driver who spoke so much no one else could get a word in. Despite this, he was sweet and our trip on the dam and visit to the dam wall was spectacular.


DAY 6: Ugezi Tiger Lodge to Chinguni Lodge Mvuu Lodge

Departure time

00:00 Izel and ryan chowed by mosquitos

Free state

Border people

Boy wash car

Arrival time

00:00 Boy blown up condom

Goat fell off hill

People fell off bicycle

Elmien – walkie talkie – bush toilet

Nico – ystervark – sheet lightning

Road conditions Snake mountains

Weather conditions Hot

Campsite conditions

FACILITIES YES NO

Hot water 

Clean ablution 

Restaurant 

Arrive at gate – Ernest – as from this moment

Chinguni closed

28 km – mvuu lodge – cocktails